Something I’ve been dwelling on is designing experiences. These can include major life change experiences, or small experiences that can lighten the day. One of my absolute favourite things, especially when I was younger, was going through a drive through and getting food. I love the convenience of it, the indulgence, and the anonymity. Once you get rid of the remains, no one knows what you ate or drank. And you do not even have to leave your seat. Now that I’m a parent, I appreciate the utilitarianism that drive throughs provide, but unfortunately, I live in such a populated place that I rarely have this pleasure. But whenever I go home?? I am hitting up the Starbucks at every possibility. The sheer absurdity of driving an internal combustion engine and getting ready made food handed to you is the most perfect experience ever.

But as I have gotten older, I’m more interested in making some major life experiences a bit easier. Things like moving, I’m definitely hiring movers the next time I relocate. Or traveling. Because I travel so infrequent, I now only fly first class. It seems indulgent, but I’ve developed a bit of an anxiety problem in the recent years, so having a bit more space to myself and having the option to deplane as soon as possible is well worth all the money.

A service that has come to my attention in the past five years, that helps with a major life transition are birth doulas. Now this really is only available to those with a uterus who have decided to use it, or maybe their partners who want to provide a safer birth experience but let me tell you how important the work that doulas do. It is no small feat to get a baby out of a body. I know it happens all the time, but what you don’t know until you’ve done it, is how extremely dangerous the whole process can be. Yes, I know hospitals exist, but there’s one thing to be medically safe, and another thing entirely to feel safe.

This is where birth doulas come in. If you can find an experienced one, someone that has been doing this for a while, you will have an amazing support person starting at active labour and finishing with the golden hour after your baby is born. Someone who has been through dozens and dozens of birth experiences, who knows the ins and outs of the process and who can make you feel safe after hours and hours of labour. They are like a favourite aunt, one that never judges you, and is your advocate for your birth. Also, they can support your partner too, because it’s not that often that people have babies and it’s even more infrequent that people are apart of the birth process nowadays.

So, if you are even remoting considering having a baby. Please consider hiring a birth doula. They are there to help you design your experience and for you to feel safe through a very difficult life transition. Here’s one that I’ve found. Vera and her sisters also do postpartum visits, so you can have some help on taking care of your newborn. Newborns are not very tricky, but for first time parents it can feel terrifying on how to care for such a small person. Especially if you want to feed them with your own body, trust me lactation is no joke.

So in an effort to help us design our lives, especially through difficult transitionary moments, I would urge all my readers to seek out people who can support you, emotionally and physically because our experiences shape our lives afterward.